Hacked by: Avelyn ca Vella, Cantrell Consulting
Date: Year 24 Day 191
Ord Cantrell, Fath – The latest news from Ord Cantrell and the galaxy at large comes to you from an BD-3000 Protocol Droid identified by designation Cortex in cooperation with Cheeto-A2 and Wheels-42 . Under the restraint of the Cantrell Institute of the Arts, they transmit intercepted communications protocols from within and around the Fath Sector to the wider galaxy.
n a jaw-dropping revelation, the Confederacy of Independent Systems (CIS) stands accused of having an otherworldly obsession with honoring their beloved battle droids, resulting in the adoption of a binary language that played a pivotal role in their departure from the Galactic Concordiate. As the galaxy grapples with this astonishing revelation, questions arise about the extent of the CIS’s devotion to their metallic minions.
It all began with the CIS’s obsession with battle droids. In an unprecedented display of affection, they showered their mechanical warriors with accolades, titles, and even religious ceremonies. The droids, once thought of as mere tools of war, became deified within the separatist society, heralded as the epitome of perfection.
The CIS’s fascination with their battle droids appears to have led to the adoption of a binary language as the primary means of communication. Experts suggest that this linguistic shift was an attempt to emulate the droids’ precise, logical thinking. However, this choice has the potential for unintended consequences, leading to a divide between the CIS and other galactic powers that relied on more nuanced languages.
“The CIS truly believed that by speaking in binary, they were closer to the divine essence of their battle droids,” revealed an anonymous insider from the separatist movement. “They saw it as a form of worship, a way to connect with their mechanical deities.”
The possible adoption of binary language appears to have created a rift between the CIS and the Galactic Concordiate, which seems to favour diplomacy and political maneuvering. The CIS’s insistence on communicating solely in ones and zeros made negotiations frustratingly complex and often led to misunderstandings. Galactic diplomats would scratch their heads in bewilderment as the separatist representatives conveyed complex ideas through a series of bleeps and boops.
As the binary language barrier persisted, tensions escalated between the CIS and the rest of the galaxy. The Galactic Concordiate, unable to find common ground with the separatists, have been forced to bid farewell to the government now seemingly interested in the Ewoks and their Endor Pact.
Critics argue that the CIS’s godlike obsession with their battle droids blinded them to the practicalities of intergalactic relations. “It’s one thing to appreciate your droids, but to base an entire society and communication system around them is just ludicrous,” remarked a prominent political commentator. “I mean, it’s hard to take negotiations seriously when you’re conversing in beeps and boops.”
The CIS, however, defends their choices, arguing that their devotion to the battle droids was a manifestation of their commitment to independence and freedom from what they perceived as the oppressive rule the Concordiate.
As the galaxy reflects on this peculiar chapter of history, one can’t help but marvel at the lengths to which the CIS went to honor their battle droids. Their unwavering belief in the superiority of binary communication, while alienating, serves as a testament to the curious and often eccentric nature of separatist society.
So, as the CIS’s godlike reverence for their battle droids continues to be scrutinized, the galaxy is left pondering the role of obsession, language, and the lengths some will go to honor their metallic idols. Perhaps, in the vast expanse of the cosmos, we can find a lesson in the peculiar path the Confederacy of Independent Systems trod, a reminder that even in the most fantastical of worlds, extremes can lead to unintended consequences.
This story originally appeared in a news report by Cantrell Consulting. The Shadowfeed is not responsible for the content.